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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
There's This Thing Called Vodka
As you know, I signed up for a conditioning class designed for pole dancing and aerial arts. I've dreamed of the trapeze for a long time but never felt it realistic or even in my grasp. And everyone knows that I had childhood aspirations of being a hooker, sad as that might be. So, learning this is reinvigorating.

All the sore shoulders and butt muscles are thrilling. It feels wonderful to be conditioning again. I get really high off that feeling and when I'm exercising, I total getting pleasure from working hard. If I control the exercise, I can get near that point for myself and it's kind of silly.

I love that I might be flexible... well, sort of flexible or more flexible than I was.

I am actually practicing every day and it's wonderful. It takes a surprisingly long time to do all of the stretches.

Satisfaction, the show I have been watching about a brothel, is a wonderful addition to me routine. It is relaxing but also eases that pressure of sex a bit in my mind. I think one of the biggest dams for me is that guys are expected to get off each time they have sex, wheras women are just an added bonus. I don't know many men that would be fine getting the woman off and not themselves in the end. Yes, getting her off is important to them but they also want to finish. As women, we mostly think of men first. I know this because that's how mainstream thinks. I've since come to realize that I don't need sex so there should be no reason that I should have to work so hard to please a man if he isn't going to try to please me.

I won't put my romantic relationships on the same level as my friendships.

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