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This journal was horneted in 1996. XD
*Sigh*......
Tonight I feel weird.....

I don't know.. Suddenly I just got this odd negative feeling that I'm about to lose a lot of things/people that were major key factors in my life.....

I mean, last year my Aunt Natalie died.... My grandmother's still alive, but is barely herself anymore... I'm going to be moving out of my parents' house soon, and into a dorm at Post University with someone (most likely a guy) that I've never met before...

So what, you ask? Well, cause and effect, my friend...

When I move out, I will no longer be with my parents every day... I won't be in my familiar basement. I won't have privacy like I used to... I won't be able to talk to Tetris. And because I'll be outside my hometown, I'm farther away from my friends that I know and care about dearly.. I will probably make new friends at Post, and ontop of that and my school work, I'll have even LESS time to hang out with my old friends. Add a girlfriend to that, which exponentially amplifies that even more.

My family is also crumbling in the midst of it all... My aunt is dead, and my grandmother will likely die by mid-year or so.... My aunt and uncle's marriage is apparently going downhill as of this point... My mom and sister don't really get along.... All my cousins generally stray away from family outings, and will likely not make much of an effort to keep the Sunday dinner tradition going..

So what's going to happen with my life as I knew it? Is that chapter over?? o.o

As it stands now, things are not completely dissolved yet. But I'm noticing the dissolution now, and at the rate this is all going, I have a bad feeling the end is coming up quickly... Working at Stop and Shop was no help for me, as it often was a barrier between me and Sunday dinners with my family, and at the times when I should've been there more than ever before....

The one thing I still have from my childhood that hasn't really changed much is my friendship with Ryan...... and that's something I will cherish forever... Of course, at some point I always lose something important and great in my life, so I'm afraid of losing him as well......

I suppose nothing lasts forever though.. If this is indeed the end of a chapter of my life, then the next chapter I'm stepping into had better be a damn ******** good one.. XP





 
 
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