Goddamn why can't I stay up?! Why am I always tired, I ******** hate this! Not only this but falling asleep all the time is taking away my time with Ryan..
I ******** hate it, I feel so bad.. I'm always falling asleep on him and it's not fair to him! ... I wonder if it's making him angry or sad.. I feel so bad..
.. He's got to be annoyed by now..
.. I annoy everyone, eventually..

I just want to be ******** normal for once! Why do I always have to be sick?!