I looked back at my journals from years ago and I'm still just as bitter and hateful as I used to be. I really don't belong anywhere, do I?

They thought it was a phase but... I'm just going to end up being a lonely old fool at this rate. I just want to leave everything and disappear. Never be heard from again. All I do these days is disappoint people. Especially myself.

At least when I'm dead I can return to the earth and provide some sort of nourishment for the various things that feast on the dead or whatever.