Last Thursday, I went to a downtown mall with a couple of my friends.
They weren't close friends, no, but I knew them on a friendly basis.
It was the start of P/T (parent/teacher) interviews and my mom had an appointment at 5:30pm. It was 3:03pm when I was dismissed from school.
I have another friend, her name was Cecilia, whose birthday was today. Last Thursday, I had gone in search of a birthday gift. Cecilia and I had quarrels in the past, but now, we're very close. Same grade, different class.
When I was young, a lot of guys liked me. I didn't like them back, but I was nice, because I didn't know how to mean. It felt good, having a bunch of people tell you they like you. As I grew up, I became addicted to that, and I started ACTING nice rather than being it naturally.
When I did like a guy, Cecilia liked him too. My first crush and he liked me, but I didn't know what it was like to hate someone back then. I suppose I liked him, but not as much as I like my "crushes" now.
Because of that, because we liked the same guy, I didn't like Cecilia. Over the years that I got to know her, I realized she was a lot like me. I liked that. I could relate to a lot of what she was experiencing. We became friends slowly, and we're still friends.
Anyways, last Thursday, I went to the downtown mall with three guys. One guy, whose name was Kalvin, was my sister's friend's brother. I heard he liked me, but, studying psychology, I know that his fondness for me was based off of his hearing of me. He heard about me before he moved to my school. I could have been special to him, but I didn't like him like that. His feelings for me were never confessed directly, but now I'm sure they have passed.
One of the other boys with me was Dominic. He was nice and I've known him for a good majority of my life. He did like me. He made it obvious. Maybe it was because he made it so obvious that made me not like him back. He's not the most attractive person, no, but he had a good personality. He sent me cards on several occasions, which I felt guilty in receiving. Nowadays, it seems his fondness for me has dulled. I'm slightly relieved.
The third guy with me was number nine, a boy who I refer to by his former jersey number. I do like him somewhat, but my thoughts about him are often conflicting. This guy was the guy Cecilia liked. I thought it was nice that he went to help find her a gift. He doesn't like her, I know he doesn't, but he's nice for trying.
So here we were, the four of us, wandering the mall for a birthday gift. We walked around a lot, but I was practically useless. Number nine and Dominic don't have the slightest clue about girls. The only thing that defines me as a girl is my physical and scientific body build. I don't think in feminine ways, so it was hard looking for a girl's gift. Kalvin was the only one with a clue.
We entered a book store eventually. We split up. Kalvin and Dominic as one pair, number nine and me as the other pair. I wasn't as nervous as I probably should have been. Heck, I was kind of happy. I knew it wasn't right. I shot a glare at Dominic who decided the pairs; a look that said thanks but please save me!
I walked around with number nine. We ended up at the science and music sections. I love science, and I enjoy music. I thought it was cool, sharing some alike interests.
We talked a bit, number nine and I. It was soothing, I had to admit. He had a certain scent to him that only I seemed to noticed. A scent that comforts me. Just being near him puts me at ease. It was all wrong. This guy was the guy my friend liked -likes- and I was with him.
We exited the store later. We were walking around, looking for more classmates who said they would meet us there. The strangest thing happened then.
Number nine was ahead of me. I saw my hand reach for him, and I freaked out. It was like my hand moved on its own. The scariest part was that I almost grabbed him arm.
My fingertips brushed against his jacket when I realized what I was doing. I retracted my arm instantly, but the memory was burned into my brain. I almost reached him! I almost made A MOVE. Holy, I'm relieved I caught myself.
Bad, Lucia! Keep yo' hands to yo'self.
Well yeah. I just wanted to share that.
Number nine, if you're reading this.. crap.
Otherwise, thanks for reading and a good night to all my readers!
Today's lyrics are:
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven
Comment below the song's artist and title, and a reward shall be granted!
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