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So the biggest ******** drama bomb landed on me today.
Well the first girl I fell in love with gets married tomorrow.
I'm not going to be her best man so that's sucks kinda I guess.
I was however finally able to let go of her!
She became like everyone else to me, a simple ******** blob in a world of gray.
I realized when I did it that once I could get over someone I loved everything was lost.
Love was my strongest emotion and I unintentionally got rid of it. Go figure.
Anyway leading to my new ******** problem after being happy.
I feel as though I should get that tattoo of the snake eating itself.
Every time I get something ******** me up.
Well basically the second girl I fell in love with is no longer close with me.
I still love her I haven't been able to let go yet( though I try everyday)
Anyway! Basically one of my friends likes her now.
I told him I wouldn't care if he asked her out....
Love is wanting the other person happy, and he's a cool ******** guy.
I'm sure she'd say yes to him, but then again she always does what I don't expect
Either way I'll have to let go of two people just so I wont lose it around them.
Maybe I should just let everyone go. Complete indifference...
The way I used to be...
Lie about caring...
Lie...
Lie...
Lie...
Love and me just never worked out.
Unfortunately anger and I seem to be bestie's
I hate it...
********....
Selflessness is going to be the death of me...
Either that or suicide...
I daily question that maze I took showing me suicide as my death....
********......
I'm really sad...but I already let go of David....
It's easy now....
Just Aly...
Aly....
Aly...
Alex....
A few nights of drinking...
A few nights of Pills...
A few nights of combinations...
I should be able to let go of her too...
That or complete isolation which will lead to complete indifference...
All choices are flawed in my life...
I'd cut my legs some more but I've run out of room..
******** it...
I can let go...
It's pretty much down...
I've been sitting here for hours...
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........................................ it hurts to say .......................
................................... but letting go ........................
............................... wasn't so hard........................


I guess the combination nights start now....
Curse my tortured soul and everlasting woe, for I was a man of one need twas not my lust for the need that was thine undoing but was thine lust

In the end I was never good enough I guess..
So it goes....