It has been a long time since i wrote a journal but here it goes.
I feel like life has been slow for me but i think for the better. After thinking about the past these past years, i feel like i made too many mistakes. But this makes me wonder if these mistakes were made purposely for me. Some of these examples seem to be my exes.
It seems like every single one of my exes seem to be happy, which is every good for me, but i feel like i am just sticking to my past to just make myself miserable. I shouldn't be doing this and i know not to do this but i never could get this guilt out of me. i wonder sometimes if maybe i wonder what would happen if i do one thing or the other but over thinking i know is my worst weakness of myself.
it didn't down to me till right now that perhaps the reason why i tend to break up with most of my exes is because i over think. I assume too many things when it comes to girls, and i even read small details. god no wonder why i am lonely xD.
but even on this website i gotta remember he good times when i dated. the times i made these rights so i gotta say to all my exes that read this and girls out there, i am very sorry for either dating you, or flirting with you. I am just a very confused person back then. I tend to think too much and try to rush thinks into marriage when it is not even possible.
Even though this sorry i feel sounds like just some emo guy, but it is not. it is true to my heart. i feel like over these past few days i have matured n moved on to new things. I am still looking for a date like always but i am being more reasonable but not too strict. I mean if i see that it is the right date i should risk it. (like i should of done lol) overall i think this is probably i new start for me being 22 going to be 23 soon. i should just be truthful to people. i shouldn't have to cheat, (example would be going bi on one ex) or judging people by age difference. i should instead just be truthful.
I fear times have become harsh people are not talking anymore, perhaps what we need most in our lives is a hero. I need to be that hero. i have to give to the people that have helped me in their lives. n i feel like that is what i should do. perhaps maybe i could visit you guys someday who are reading this journal for i feel like it is best if i see you guys. i just hope it is the right decision on my part n i hope you guys accept me of who i am.
I LOVE YOU GUYS! for you made me a man.
p.s. VJR is my initials and 09 is the year i graduated.
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