Poem: Just as I thought it would be

Thoughts once planned
became a reality
and everything I felt
I later admitted sadly..

Almost just as I thought it would be
I let go or lost everything
that meant a lot to me
Now I'm here
still lost and somewhat confused
my only last fear
is that I'll lose them too..
Other things..
I just can't say..
but just as I write this today
the clouds as well
seem ever so gray
just like how im feeling..
my thoughts this way
but I still have hope..
that maybe one day..

I'll be happy
satisfaction at my side
I wont feel ever or remember
for the reasons I always cried
I'll be ok , maybe neutral
but I wont have people asking me why
I always seem , and redeem
the need to want to cry