So for some reason as of recently I felt like getting out all my feelings and putting it all out there. Just thinking about things as of recently got me thinking. I wish I was able to tell people what I wanted. Tell them how I really feel. I guess I cant because...well I don't want to make them angry or disappoint them. But in the end I usually end up regretting it some how, some way in the future. I'm wondering why couldn't I have told him that I really wanted to go with me there. Or this is what I want to her. Oh...right, there's the disappointment and anger that comes with it. Want to go out on my own suddenly everyone is against me. Want this, what you think I'm made of money. I wish I could tell you how I feel towards you. And you as well.
Story goes you left me and suddenly you want me back or so he told me you said. I see you once and then once more for an extended period of time. You said you'd be there, but no...you weren't. He left and I begged you to please help me in my time of need. You said maybe and you would call me the day before, but you never did. Then I never heard from you again. You're gone. You disappeared. Traitor. You're a traitor to me and me alone...but why only me. What did you do back then? I want to know.
Then there's you. You've been there for me most of the time and then one day just up and disappear. You are the biggest traitor of all. How could you just leave all of us like that. I can't tell you how I feel because I don't think your heart can take it. You say to ask for what I want, but when I try you aren't there. I'm pretty sure I could die and you wouldn't be able to see me one last time. You will regret everything. I know you will because I saw you and how you were when you lost him. I was there for you through it all. Why can't you be there for me...am I really important? Or will you just leave me like she did?
Lastly there's you. The one that is always there. You've been with me through it all. I ask a lot from you I know, but only because you're the only one there. I'm sorry. I care for you as much as possible. I want to hold hands everyday because I want to know that you are there. Remembering how it was back then when I held His hand, all I could think was about how cold and lifeless it was. Just like a doll. I ask everything of you, but couldn't you at least on the important days do something for me instead of me having to ask? Everything I truly wanted was shot down or you don't know what to do. Please just...make me feel wanted and loved.
Life is a rocky road full of twists, turns, bumps, and dips. It's quite the roller coaster ride. Every single one of you is something that keeps going in and out of life and it's making life one hell of a ride. Will I ever just hit a point where everything will just go smoothly?
· Fri Mar 15, 2013 @ 03:05pm · 0 Comments