I've been sleeping with my 'x's shirt for eight nights straight, we haven't talked in like three days. Tonight, I can't sleep at all I am exhausted and have been having migraines but I miss her too much to sleep. I miss her so ******** much. I've been grumpy and being mean, I tend to become bitter without her. Still, I'm being patient? I don't know what I'm being patient about ... Did you happen to listen to that song I posted? Grown Man Cry? Man, it reminded me of her and I ... I was like omg .. No ... But yeah. The more distant we get, the more and more I realize all my mistakes. I really am trying so hard to be strong but every fiber of my being feels like it's just floating away. I get like this without her, it's just been three days! I am crazy for her ... I'm really trying not to be drastic, there have been no bombardments of phone calls or e-mails. I did call once today and sent only about six e-mails saying I miss her with in these three days. She hasn't responded at all ... I mean, is that really fair? I worked and went to school and I called and texted .. I remember a few times when I worked at the school I called her just to tell her I loved her and missed her. I know she has no obligations to me any more though. I have been taking Ibuprofen nightly to sleep but it doesn't help neither do my binary beats. I haven't decided on what to do if I worsen. And I've been stress eating, pretty badly.
The reason I like Amanda Palmer so much is because some of her songs remind me of me so much, it's like, '******** Amanda, how did you know?' The lyrics on my profile, Bad Wine and Lemon Cake, I've decided that that may be my theme song ..
· Thu Mar 14, 2013 @ 12:29pm · 0 Comments