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'ello!
Just a diary, I guess. Not my innermost secrets or anything, of course, just a bit-by-bit autobiography.
What to do, when I'm too exhausted to do anything and too panicked to sleep?

First off, put on Foo Fighters. It feels like structure for my brain to work around. It's certainly not capable of holding itself up at the moment.

Try to play Binding of Issac? I lose, I lose. Well, that didn't work very well. Ah well, at least I killed some time and a tiny bit of panic.

Play zomg? Nah, not even going to try that one. The game sounds unentertaining and the people sound overwhelming.

Eat Jello?

*shlorpshnarfshlooooop*

Well, that was a plus. Good thing being fat isn't one of the things I'm panicking about. Though perhaps I could use some protein in my stomach.

Ooh, turkey slices- AHHH, flying jelly! Oh, dear. At least it's not too hard to clean up.

Read book? Eh. I don't wanna. I can't focus well enough to even find a good book, let alone read one.

Stalk the exboyfriend? Dumbass, that's part of how I got here in Panicland in the first place. No.

Smoke weed? I'm trying not to do that too often, I don't want a psychological dependence on the stuff for being able to deal with my problems. I guess some people have a psychological dependence on antidepressants and whatnot the way I'm thinking of it, but that stuff's all doctor-sanctioned and well tested.

Writing was apparently a good idea, if nothing else. I feel sorta better.

Do laundry? I should, but... Not gonna. This probably means I'm going to wear dirty clothes tomorrow. There's worse things.

No. Don't think. Do something else. Anything. Turn the music up.

There's always homework to do. Psh, like I'd be effective anyway.

Call friends? I'm not outed as a panic attack haver to them. Maybe I should sometime. I know the one I'd call. But I don't want to call her so soon for emotional support after canceling a hanging out without rescheduling, and I'm not up for real conversation...

Less panicked now, at least. I think I'll go to sleep in about half an hour.





 
 
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