It just sucks, you know what I mean?
No one really understands all the crap I put myself through in my head. Every pain is a severe illness, every activity I do could seriously harm me, I could become allergic to any food I eat.
It's really tiring.
What's worse is that I forgot what this was like! I used to be like this pretty consistently, but then I got busy and life became very full and I didn't have time to worry about this stupid stuff.
But when mono put me on all that resting, body problems became all I could think about and I became stuck in that mentality. I'm trying so hard to get myself out of it, but then I do stupid things like check my pulse constantly and worry about getting DVT when I eventually take my first flight to D.C. or dying on the plane. I'm so sick of this!
So then this happens. I get mad at myself and say it's nothing. And I'm good for a little while. Then I feel a twinge in my jaw and it starts all over again!
Vicious cycle, vicious cycle.