I hate it when I wake up thinking, I tend to do that a lot. It is like my problems drift away as I sleep and hover over me in cloud form and when I wake they all drive back into my mind. The most recent has been the topic of growing up. Now I haven't been told to grow up in a very, very long time, it is something I hate to be told. But recently my love said she'd thought I would of grown up by now. I don't know what to think about that because there are two ways of growing up. I am extremely whimsical & fantastical at times, I love my fantasy. But then I am not easy to taking charge of my life and doing what I need to to obtain freedom. I am hoping it is the second one? Most likely. I would hope that she would of learned by now that my fantasy is such a large part of who I am. I create things and often times to create you need a large imagination and my imagination can be quite large and I love sharing it with her. I have honestly come to love and adore every single part of her and I'd never want it to change any of it. I even love her bad attitude, it could be such a turn on ... But honestly I do agree and know that I need to take charge of my life, I think that is what she really really want me to do. She wants me to be responsible and I want to really badly, I want freedom, and I want her. I would love to show up at her doorstep, pick her up, and carry her to my car and drive her to a lovely little house and tell her it's all hers ... I just don't know how to obtain all that, I'm scared and I hate myself for being scared because I want her so badly. I'm so afraid to lose her, I need to learn really quickly or else I will lose her.
· Sat Mar 02, 2013 @ 04:41pm · 0 Comments