apparently apple cider vinegar is a good remedy for sinus infections? idk i had a cold though. i just like the way vinegar burns. because i am not very good at getting alcohol. uhhh. if i could though. goddd. i would be so drunk off my a** most of the time. so it's a good thing i can't. i want oblivionnnnnnnnnn
so i tried to log in just now by typing "soraka wonk." clue # 3442.2 that maybe i am a little too obsessed with LoL
i'm going to rant about my bf so leave right now. thanks.
he dropped by with a bottle of odwalla with like a bajillion percent vitamin c, because he knew i was ill, and he said, i would hug you, and i said, but germs, so we talked and then we ended up on the couch and he was really tired so i bet his judgment was severely impaired
cuz he said, i love you
very quietly, but i heard him,
and i just sat there and i looked at him, and i was thinking, no you don't, you're kidding, look at me, listen to the idiot things that come out of my mouth, arghhh, i know i'm supposed to say it back, but how am i gonna be able to say it back
the walls are thin, my roommates are awake, the world will hear me, and i'm so scared of--
i wish i could be his girlfriend.
i don't deserve him. i should never have asked him out if i don't have the balls to say it back.
and it was so silent and he looked a little bit sad so i went ******** the germ barrier and i hugged him and i hope that was clear enough i am so sorry but there is no apologizing for this.
(lol so you couldn't tell him that you loved him and that you think of him all the time and that when you are sad, the happiest thing is that you know he loves you so it's ok ******** the world--you couldn't do that, and you make up for it by maybe giving him your cold....?)
it's like my best friend has been a bit of a d**k to me recently, so i finally snapped and said, i don't know if we're really friends anymore
and she went insaaane apologizing. she apologized for everything, said i'd not done anything wrong, and she said she knew she wasn't being very nice, but she'll make it up to me and now she texts me randomly and asks all the time how i'm doing
and i'm just like, girl, if i didn't love you this much, i would never have forgiven you. you can't just schedule times to be nice to me. you can't know that you're being a total douchebag and keep doing it anyway.
on the upside, i am now cpr certified after spending three hours making out more passionately with a pair of plastic figurines than i have yet to with my boyfriend. i hate being sick. when can i kiss him.
on the double upside, it is 2 am in the morning and i have to write up a lesson plan.................
why couldn't i say that i loved him?
well it's scary being gay, don't you know.
it's scary when all your life your parents have told you that gays go to hell. that it's disgusting and perverse. when kids around you shouted f*****t! like it was a bad thing, the worst thing. where the smallest act of gayness got you scorned to hell. it's scary holding his hand when everyone is craning their heads and second glancing, cuz it's not normal.
add that on top of how scary it is to be in love with someone