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My story of joy and/or woe...
I have a small, insicnificant life. I don't matter.
Wow holy s**t.

Okay so only two journal entries ago, I was talking about Christian?? Dude, I like him in the 7th ******** grade. I'm almost in Senior High now. Jeezus.

More about my love life I guess.
So I had/still have a crush on this one dude name Jim, who is really tall, really handsome and adorable and had Asperger's syndrome, but I honestly don't even care. He's like the nicest and sweetest person ever so whatever. Anyways, I finally worked up the courage to tell him that I like him on Valentine's Day, even though it was on a FB chat. I still ******** did it and I'm proud of myself for having the courage to do so.

He kind of friend-zoned me though. He said he had 'been hurt before and didn't want to be hurt again', so he only thought of me as a close friend. I was a little let down, but we're actually still pretty chill with each other. I'm pretty sure he really does like me though. I mean, he likes my attention and he calls me pretty and beautiful and sweet all the time so????? I dunno, maybe I'm just stupid, but that's what it seams like.


I hate talking about my self so much, but this technically is my journal, so yeah. I haven't talked t you all in like a ******** year or two. Jesus. I'm pretty sure that I'm a lot more mature now. Dude, I used to take this s**t so ******** seriously. Like I ha legit crush on Neo for like a week back then. But now that me and Ted are friends on FB, we're just casual friends and I was just being silly. I was in like the 6th grade or something after all. I was pretty pathetic omg I'm so sorry. One time Kitty (Ali? I don't remember anymore, s**t.) stated that she was bi but I thought that meant trans so I asked if she was more masculine or feminine and she had t explain the differences to me. That was so embarrassing. And one time I thought Shot was a girl. And when I threw a major temper tantrum when me and Neo "broke up". Oh my god, I feel really stupid. I'll try to be more mature in the future.

More about me. I might have depression... or anxiety. Or bipolar, I don't know, we haven't seen a doctor yet. I also haven't been taking very good care of my diabetes lately and I can start to feel my body weaken and shut down. I think I'm going to die sometime in the next couple of years. Which I don't actually mind. I would never commit suicide or physically hurt myself on purpose, but maybe if I just shut down. Die in my sleep. Peacefully. I dunno, I want to live, but I don't want to exist.

I do love life though. Very much. I'm just really stressed. I'll probably look back at this later and laugh over how dumb I just sounded and be grateful for life, but I ain't feelin' it right now, so...

I still suck at RP..... so not everything has changed. Bwahahahaha xD

It's late and I shouldn't be up so bye. Take care, y'all. I love you, bye.

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