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The Chronicles of Esan!
I bet you've all been wondering why I've been making so many journal entries as of late. What? You weren't wondering? Well, wonder, man! Curiosity is a beautiful thing, and should not be wasted. Let your mind wonder, let yourself ask questions and be intrigued by something, anything! Anyway, regardless of whether or not you want to know why I'm making so many entries, I'm going to tell you.
First, I miss having something or someone to share my thoughts and problems with. I pine for a bank of secrets and ideas, and this is what my journal has become. A bank, a storage unit to house my many reveries and reflections. It'll be nice to look back on all these in my later years, to see how my mind has changed, for the better or for the worse. I hope for the former.
Second, a recent tarot card reading done by Monica has shown that writing (or in this case, typing) things down in a journal will be beneficiary to me. I've got to admit, it's right. It feels good to let this stuff out in a healthy, and perhaps even productive way.
On another note, the tarot card reading also said that the end of a bad situation will give rise to a new situation and new love. After debating with not only myself, but with friends as well, I came to the conclusion that the bad situation was my friendship with Sarah, which fared no better than the relationship did. Still hostile, still cold, it did not bring about some great change to the way things were before as I had hoped. So, to amend this bad situation, I took her off my friends list. Almost immediately afterwards, I received a message from a friend who I hadn't spoken to in months. Coincidence? My logical thinking says yes, but my illogical, cooler half of my brain says that it's the tarot card's great prediction. Now, a few days ago, I decided to decline Sarah's friend request on Skype, I had kept it there because I truly didn't know whether or not to accept it. I decided against accepting it, and turned it down, which I'm assuming was a bad situation because as soon as I did so, I got more messages from people who I hadn't talked to in awhile. Creepy, right? Then I got an apology from Sarah, which really quelled the hateful beast within my heart. I can't say that I still don't hate her, there's definitely some negative feelings left, and no positives to be found, but it must have been an end to another bad situation because a day later, my crush/love (For I cannot tell which it is anymore, such a troublesome thing) talked to me out of the blue.
Mere coincidences? Perhaps. Something more? I'd like to think so. New, true love and a happily ever after may be waiting with the people who all messaged me again, all of which being girls. Who knows. Looking for love seems like such a pitiful thing, and I feel that I'll have a much more fulfilling relationship if I forget about finding love, and focus more on friendship, and allow that friendship to someday evolve into love if it's meant to be. Ha, meant to be. I don't believe in destiny, yet I can't find a better word for it.
Well, what do you know, I not only gave you an answer to a question, but a glimpse into who I am, and what I believe.





 
 
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