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uhm.. well im going to start being honest with more people.
i miss lhg. a lot. maybe thats cuz there was no closure maybe its cuz we just never really moved on. i know its too late now tho. i shouldnt have apologized so much but you couldnt just see past the amount of apologies. idc who you thought or judged me to be. if you knew me, really knew me, then youd know id never want to treat someone as i treated you. that was my own mistake. and whether it matters to you or not idc. i screwed up. badly.
'youll make it to your new anniversary with him. and itll be much much better.
so ill point out this: on ours, i didnt know honestly what you expected or wanted. the week before you hinted at soooo much.. that it made everything i did questionable. i realize now that i never cared how your parents or others saw me. that was stupid to be concerned about. i feel most like a failure only because i honestly believed we couldve worked through things. but you never spoke up and decided to tell me what it was you wanted. We went to homecoming and i wanted you to grind not on me but with me. That pissed you off but you never wondered why: i dont know how to grind. at all. so when i decided to try i wanted it to be with you. i was fully prepared to look stupid. The night of our anniversary you were in such great pain.. you thought i was pissed cuz you wouldnt accompany on my ride home but i was upset with the fact that i could see the pain you were in and couldnt help do anything about it...

I told you i hated you, but that was a lie.. i hated the way you wouldnt seem to open up.. even though that was and is who you are..

i cant say i miss you without being judged but i do.
i wish you would come back but i know thats never going to be fair to ask of you.

im not everything you would consider me.
im just a kid who makes mistakes like we all do.

guess i just made one too many mistakes

now i pass the park and sit by my tree alone..
look at the rain and remember the warm dorky times
glance at my 3ds and think back to the past

im not always gonna be a failure, im not your knight in shining armor though.

Im a kid from a town that just so happens to have had you in his life.
and im glad to have been the first screw up </3

rawr..