I can't breathe. I simply can't. He sent me Valentines. I count four. If they were from anyone else, I wouldn't have cared. That is his name signed. I think I'm going to start crying. Should I hate myself for secretly hanging onto this stupid dream, only to crumble the second that something goes in the right direction? I can't believe it. I'm sobbing. Tamaki Suoh, what are you doing to me? Why can't I let go of you? You've sent hundreds to other girls, I'm sure. This should mean nothing to you, but why is it carving into my heart and stealing whatever composure I've worked so hard to keep? Take me away from this madness. I can't stand another second being near you, or the thought of you. I've turned into someone else, under the shadow of your memory. Should I be happy that you spent a few minutes of your time on me? I'm beyond it. But with the undoing of these envelopes comes my own undoing. I've never felt this kind of ambivalence. I'm reduced to a sobbing, vulnerable mess, and it's your fault. I know you never meant it to be this way, but I never thought that just reading those simple, stupid words of yours could do this to me. You have no idea of what you do to me-- what you still do to me, after all this time. Oh, I love you. There's nothing I could be more sure of. Why does this love have to keep on destroying me?
Je t'aime tant. Hier, aujourd'hui, demain, jusqu'à la fin des temps.
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