Today is another one of those days where I'd like to take a mental vacation.
My gram had a dr appointment here, and I needed to go to the bank and try to find an adapter and voltage converter for Korean outlets (they run 220 V, and use a type C socket like in the UK). I had no trouble at the bank. Mom and gram went to the dr's and I went to the bank and came back. Waited for them. Went to walgreens, then to walmart. I guess walmart wasn't too bad - I mean it was its normal crazy busy - but "not too bad" refers to the behavior of my mom and grandmother. They're notorious. When my gram gets out to shop, she wants to shop. And ho boy, does she. She doesn't need a thing, and she'll go on about how much "stuff" she has, but then she gets out there amidst the clearance racks and she can hardly control herself. I suppose she's cooled down some in the past few years, but boy howdy she still shops like crazy.
So once we managed to locate her in walmart - she still wanted to look at valentines' sale stuff (which there isn't much of - people pick that stuff clean in a matter of hours). she had picked up a necklace/earring set with the letter A (my letter) and wanted to know if i wanted it. i had to tell her no. i'm not really packing much jewelry. and she wanted to know if i needed a "jacket" (it really is a zip up hoodie kind of thing). she'd found them for like $9, and i said i didn't need one - i have lots, and i have to pack "light" for a whole year. mom kept saying that too. mom and gram confused each other and were fussing. gram had picked up a jacket for herself and was merely asking if i wanted/needed one too. mom thought the jacket was for me, and picked it up and gram started fussing at her. oh geeze.
and then on the way out of walmart gram was fussing to me about how she needs a new jacket. something about how the ones she has she has owned for 25 years. and i said it was fine for her to buy a new one. she could buy all new and donate her old ones to goodwill if she wanted. (because they're "still in good shape" and my gram can not throw anything away. depression era child. lol.) i don't know what she had in her head. we weren't stopping her from buying anything, and we weren't accusing her of wasting. i just don't know. *shakes head*
oh so the really funny thing to me though.. is that this whole time she's been here.. she's been talking about how much "stuff" she has, and says she doesn't need a thing, right? she told me she must have over 20 coats/jackets and they're all "like brand new" and she doesn't know what to do with them since she only wears one or two really. but that she doesn't need a coat etc etc.
so she says one thing "i don't need any coats" and then buys one today and complains she doesn't like the ones she has and that they're old!
It must be an elderly thing.
She can't say what she really thinks, and refuses to say what she means.
(there was more, but i can't remember what it was. getting home was a real treat. mom and gram fussed during dinner. ugh. the raised voices and biting tones just get under my skin.
oh yes. my family has many unspoken rules. you have to be psychic to know what is going on, and you must must must be psychic to figure out what it is the other person [mom, gram] wants - because they won't directly state what it is they want/expect.
one rule is
"never mention anything".
you see something you like, but wouldn't spend the money on it... don't mention it. don't say you liked it. they will buy it for you. and you could have merely thought it was interesting.. didn't want it... you mentioned it - so now it's in your house.
this applies also to things you don't want.... say you saw something hilarious, but instead of mocking it openly, you make a passing, civil comment - nope. shouldn't have opened your mouth - you will now own one.
another rule is
"the older woman's agenda is followed."
gram is this way, so i suppose mom is the same way because of it. you might have your own plans for where you're going/what you're doing.. but the older one calls the shots. they ultimately set the course for the car.
this flows into the next super annoying habit -
"never directly say what you want. (until the very last minute)" this isn't a rule. this is a habit. it differs from the first in that it has nothing to do with items, but more like plans and ideas.
let's say you're going out with your mom or gram - they will tell you what they want to accomplish on this outing? i assume most people do.
not in my family.
get in the car - mom lists out where she is going, makes sure we have the coupons or whatever for that place.. gram sneaks in a "i brought my checks to cash at the bank." the first time in her whole visit here (she's been here for weeks) that she even mentioned going to the bank.
so we have to finagle a bank visit into the travel plans.
((i should add - growing up i would always ask mom her plans so she got into the habit of listing out all our stops. i like knowing. i mean, if you spontaneously stop in somewhere, that's fine. it's more like - which direction are we going, where are we going by, where are we planning on stopping so i have an idea of where and how long and if we're stopping somewhere i need something, i know to take x, y or z. anyway...
life is complicated.)
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