Severely Needing to vent about now.
Like I've said before and finally went through with it. I gave up dating. Up until an old ex of mine showed up. I loved her with all of my heart and a part of me still did. She and I talked so often and it re-ignited an old flame. So I went for my chance and come to find out she has a boyfriend and won't leave him because of a severe emotional attachment. I ********' walked into a door I knew was locked up tight. I kicked it in just because of my blind pursuit of love. Reality hits you like a truck you know. Never go against your gut. Love is a dead word and a dead feeling as far as I'm concerned. The word means nothing. Love was supposed to be the thing everyone sought because it was a glorious feeling of invincibility to others. But now.. It's just a word for "like a lot". It means nothing. Marriage means nothing. Kids mean nothing. Nothing in a relationship matters in this day and age. It's all easily replaced by the scum of the earth. Cheaters, Whores, Sluts. Everything else. Hell I might just live my life in solitude and loneliness.. It's all that ever happens in the grand scheme of things... Despair. Alone. Depression... The cocktail of terrible things that shouldn't exist. Each of which I deal with on a daily basis. Surrounded by happy people. People that disgust me. I'm the one man who stands in the ********' corner feeling envy for those who are happy. Hell I'm the guy standing in the corner wearing a trench coat just waiting for the chance that will never happen. Everyone asks me why I ain't happy. Well guess what dumbass I ain't and I won't be. The only salvation is the hand of God or the Angels watching over the earth. But long ago God abandoned me. Long long ago....