I'm a suicidal delight. You see, suicide is the easy way out, and I deserve to have everything easy come my way, and you deserve everything hard to go towards you.
'Piracy' is a win/win situation; you'll still abuse me if I stop, and prison gets me food and healthcare on your dime. Guards/inmates are like you, anyway. Watch me care, lol.
My new calling is 50% flame-baiting. Don't get Little Jimmy's jimmies rustled, ya here?