This thought occurred while I was putting the last two entries into this journal. "Life would have been so much easier had someone taught me from the beginning that it is acceptable to be different."
I spent so much of my life trying to fit into the crowd, into other peoples ideals, that I lost sight of who I was and the truth that is me. I was always trying to fit in with people, afraid of what they thought of me. I changed who I was at the surface to be like them. Had I been myself...who knows what I could be, or what I could have accomplished. Instead, I let too many people influence my life.
If a fox was raised by ducks and waddles and quacks like a duck- it is still a fox. Parents. They try so hard for no reason. I know they just want you to be successful and well off, but why can they not understand that so long as you are doing what you love to do every day of your life, you are successful. My mom wanted me to play sports. She wanted me to be the popular, sporty athlete that she was. She also wanted me to be valedictorian like she was. But I am not that. I am a musician, a writer, and artist. I never made more than c's and b's with occasional a's in high school. And here I am in college, doing what I love...and I am on the deans list with a 3.5. Because I am being different. Because I am doing what I love to do, and being who I truly am. I have only one regret in doing what I love to do... and that is wishing I had known all along...that I had not been so afraid to live my life as myself.
however, I have noticed that it is all the trials we face and hardships that we encounter, mistakes and revelations we make, and the trails we follow that make us who we are also.
The thing is...you just can not be afraid for those things. You must simply do this: Live!