These Are Poems that i made back in 2005, I just figured i would put them up here, i may make another post when i find more of them.
No i do not concider these amazing or anything, But poems use to be the way i expressed what i was going through, If you dont like them i truely dont care, they are a part of me and i may eventualy re-edit them but for now this is how they are as orginaly written.
Of love and fear (06/05)
They Say there is nothing to fear but fear itself, But Have they ever known Love?
That’s the scariest thing, When you love someone so much that you would die for them,
Its almost enough to keep you from caring,
They Say Nothing lasts forever, But I don’t think that’s true, Because what would you do if you were in love?
To Love is the sweetest thing, To feel for somebody so strongly, It makes you want to be with them, It Makes you feel alive when your dead.
They say if you love something set it free, if it comes back you it was meant to be.
The worst thing about love is fear, Fear of you never being here,
And in the depths of my heart I pray,
That you will come back to me someday.
You Are like a Pill (10/05)
My Life is a slow creeping death, Our knowledge does not save me,
From the growing shadow forming around my heart.
I am a slave to my own desires,
Always burning with needs,
Always hungry for what will never satisfy me.
I am burning up with the fever that you induced,
you stand before me and I am week, you are the only thing that can keep me from being taken with this tide.
Ever so slowly you take me higher,
from one cloud to the next till we are high from the passion that life gives us, and it will take a while to come down off this high, like a pill induces a fast heartbeat,
so are you just like a pill,
always what I want, not always what I need
Never and Forever (10/05)
How Far Can I go, Till I fall apart without you?
How Far can I go, to make myself not love you?
How long will it take, For me to Ignore this feeling, Growing inside?
How long will it take for me to learn that you will never love me?
How long till I can put my heart to rest?
Forever is the answer of how long till I can put my heart to rest.
Never is the answer to how long,
till I can Make my heart forget this feeling that you have put in my heart.
Forever Is how long I will love you no matter what.
Love Etenal (10/05)
You tell me I’m Beautiful,
you tell Me I’m Smart, you tell me I am Special,
But when all is said and done, you would rather break my heart than mend it.
I have never thought of myself as beautiful,smart, or special,
Because I have never had a man that would love me for me, a man who will want and need me, a man that wont make me cry.
Someone to take me to the highest peaks of ecstasy and be there with me as we come down.
Why do you love to hurt me, do you like to see me cry?
Why do you love me as a friend but not as a woman?
Because I love you with all the heart that I have,
and it hurts not to have that love returned.
I will need you forever.
The Bittersweet Nightmare (10/05)
I hate these feelings, The pain and Humiliation, it makes me wonder if I really want to live.
All the pain inside, makes me wonder “ why am I still living”?
Is this life worth the pain that I receive? Somebody please shoot me, stab me, Please do something,
I can’t stand much more of the pain, Everything in my life is temporary, Even my escape.
All I want is something that will always be here.
I want to die, even though I have so much to live for.
I want an escape from the pain, from the constant heartache.
Something to sooth the Burns that has been created from rejection.
All of the pain feels like liquid fire,
running from the wounds, into my veins and straight to my heart.
Somebody please wake me from this bittersweet nightmare.
Somebody Please Save Me!
Truth Vs. Dreams (10/05)
Falling into darkness, The Pain surrounds me,
Every Happy memory is slowly slipping away,
My Heart is dieing, Turning to black, It is like charcoal , made into ashes,
My body is no longer pure,
So many raw memories, it hurts to look at the light, Hurts to see the truth,
Leave me in my own world, that is the only place where I can rest, the only place where I can find peace.
My world is in turmoil though, every thing is going wrong,
What's good is bad, what's bad is good,
You are the reason this has happened, you are the one who has invaded my world with your truth,
My world is made up of my dreams, Truth destroys my dreams.
Leave me in my dreams, Because my dreams are better than reality.
Drowning Pool (10/05)
I Stand alone on this Pier, Looking over the ocean, the fog blinding me,
I see a boat off in the distance, its so far out of reach, yet so close.
Maybe if I jump? Most likely not, the water is so cold, it pulls me under,
I can’t breath, all the air is being ripped from my lungs,
I scream but no one hears me, No one cares, I keep going down,
to this cold watery obis,
I am ready to give up, this fight is doing nothing but prolonging misery,
Slowly I close my eyes, I can’t bare to see this water,
My energy is almost spent, I release my last breath.
My eyes roll to the back of my head,
Memories of my life pass before me, Thoughts of you,
My last thought before I die ‘ Why don’t you love me?’
Then I am gone, my heart stops and turns to ice,
My lungs collapses,
I am dead and I will stay here in my grave of water forever.
As darkness surrounds me (2009)
I sit here,
As Darkness Surounds my very soul,
Promising a relise from my pain,
The tears fall sillently down my face,
How am I to make a better life,
If I can't even see the light of day?
A coldness creeps over my heart,
A familler bitter pain,
I close my heart to everything,
And Pray I don't fall completly from here.
Where is My Knight In Shining armor?
Where is the one who will set me free,
I am Alone,
And I will dwell in this Bitterness,
As the Darkness Surounds Me.
The time has come (2009)
The Darkness Surrounds Me,
I am Fading away,
Memories Flood my mind,
I Am Lost In Thoughts of the Past,
Where I am, I Do Not Know,
But I Don't wish to leave this place,
Lonleyness Consumes me,
As I leave my Body,
Forgive me friends,
I have to leave,
My time is Fading fast,
And I can't stop what is meant to be,
I am Gone,
All that remains is My last tear,
And the Promise I will see you the next time around.
Awakens me in the night,
Gripping my heart,
Tearing my flesh from me,
Reminds me how to bleed,
For having this pain,
For you not being there,
Not Helping me from this pit of despare,
For only pushing me back,
And pushing me down,
For you are mine,
Forever my torment,
Forever my heart,
Forever With me,
All that will be left of me,
An empty corpse,
Left to be buried,
my soul never to rest,
only to wander the empty street,
Why you never loved me,
As I have loved you,
Ripped from the world,
To be alone in this black Abyss,
· Fri Feb 01, 2013 @ 04:18pm · 0 Comments