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What Nonsese.
Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

~

This entry is written through the eyes of "Nubby" Morgenstern, daughter of Maryann Morgenstern.

~



Mommy told me once that she hated the story of The Beauty and the Beast. She never told me why though. Even when I asked. I was six years old then, and we were running away from home on the back of a dragon.




~



In a past when dragons were wanted for magic and money, humans hunted them. They put them in cages and treated them like pigs. When they grew up, their heads were cut off, and their bodies were taken apart to be given like riches to other humans. Scales were used to make jewelry and armor. Their essence was drunk like juice to heal sickness and grow strong. Horns were used to make music and decorations.

Mommy said "slaughtered," but I didn't know what that meant. She told me that it meant that there were no more. They disappeared. But not all of them.

When they couldn't find any more dragons, the humans started to leave. They went to a far away land, and they didn't come back. That was when the rest of the dragons started to act like the humans. Mommy acted for me, and it was funny. She crawled on the floor on her hands and knees and pretended to be a baby learning to stand up. The dragons began to walk on two legs. They fell over a lot, but they eventually got it. Then, they started to talk. Mommy said it sounded like "Rah rah rah!" She said smoke came out of their noses. I can't make smoke come out of my nose. Schwarz can though. He can make a lot of it. I think he's magic.

When I asked why the dragons wanted to be humans, Schwarz got mad. He didn't let Mommy tell me anymore, but she told me anyways in secret. When I went to sleep, Mommy came to sleep with me. We hid under the covers and she whispered to me. She told me that dragons wanted to be humans because dragons wanted to be beautiful.


~



We are the dracomen.

We have a lot of rules. Mommy says that they're stupid, but Schwarz makes everyone obey them. He says that if anyone breaks them, he'll send them to "Fockinghail." I don't know where Fockinghail is, but it sounds funny!

Rule number one. Everyone has to have their horns filed every month. I just got mine filed by Mommy, and now they feel like lumps on my head. When they get long, I can sometimes see them after a bath. They're grey. And round. And they're triangles. I think if I could take them off, I could put ice cream in them. I've never seen Mommy's horns, but I don't think she has any. Schwarz has big, giant, black ones. They look scary.

Rule number two. Nobody's tails and wings are allowed to show. Mommy says it's okay for mine to show because I'm just a baby, and it makes me look cute, but everyone else hides them under their clothes. Mommy does it, too. She's really good at it because I've never seen them. I've seen Schwarz's though. They're black, too. I accidentally stomped on his tail once. I thought it was a snake. He was mad at me for a long time.

Rule number three. Everyone must clip their nails every other week. Mommy says I have pretty pink ones, but if I don't cut them, they'll start to look like tree branches. I don't want to look like tree branches, so I let Mommy cut them, but it hurts. I know I need to clip my nails when Mommy brings me ice. The ice helps me not feel anything. Even though nobody can have long nails, mommy keeps hers. She makes them nice and sharp with the horn file, and when she's mad, she turns people red. Red is bad. It's the last rule.

Rule number four. No red allowed. Mommy said that red was very, very, very bad. She said that if I ever saw red that I should run away and hide. She said that red meant that somebody had done something bad. Red is the meanest colour. Red is the baddest colour. Red is the ugliest colour. I don't want to be bad. Or mean. Or ugly. I don't want to be red. Mommy turned Schwarz red. When I saw Schwarz for the first time, Mommy turned him red. He used to be white, but then Mommy used her nails on him. I asked her why she turned Schwarz red. She said because he wanted to be red. I asked her why he wanted to be red. She said because Schwarz did not want us to be red.

I think Schwarz lives in Fockinghail.


~


This is the story of Beauty and the Beast.

Once upon a time, a father had plans of going to a market. He had three daughters. He asked them what they wanted. One said a pretty dress. One said a pretty necklace. The last one named Beauty said a rose picked specially for her by her father. And so, he set out for the marketplace.

But on his way home, there was a storm. The father was trapped inside a castle overnight. He saw a comfortable bed and a warm fire, and he couldn't help but fall asleep. When he woke up, someone had set out a meal and warm water for him. He ate and tried to thank the person who helped him, but he saw nobody. Instead, he was presented with a beautiful rose bush, and he remembered Beauty's request. When the father went to pick a rose, a terrible beast leaped out, a dragon. How dare he pick the Beast's favourite flower after the kindness he showed the father. The father would pay for his life. He pleaded and told the beast that the rose was for his daughter, and the beast said:

"I will let you live, but you must bring me your daughter."

The father ran home and told his daughters what had happened, and Beauty offered to go to the Beast to save his life in love. And so, she did. The Beast had terrible manners. He was rude to her and yelled at her. Beauty hated him, and all she wanted was to go home. When Beauty started to miss her family terribly, the Beast brought her a magic mirror that would show her what she wanted most. Inside, she could see her family.

"This way, you will not be so lonely."

As time passed, and Beauty grew older, the Beast grew uglier and meaner. Beauty started to long to embrace her family, something a mirror could not give her. She asked the Beast if she could go home just once to see her family, but he refused in rage. However, the very next day, the Beast let her go.

"Please do not be sad. I will let you go. But you must return to me in seven days time."

Beauty ran and ran until she reached home and she hugged her family hard. She told him and her sisters all about the Beast. The Beast was cruel, but kind. The Beast yelled at her, but he never hit her. The Beast was never happy, but he made sure that Beauty was. The Beast was the ugliest creature in the world . . . but he was the most beautiful person Beauty had ever seen. And Beauty wished to marry him. But the father could not let his beautiful daughter marry that ugly creature. He forbade her from going back, and locked her in a tower for seven days. On the eighth day, Beauty had a terrible dream of the Beast dying in pain. She escaped from the tower and ran all the way back to the Beast, where she found him nearly dead on the ground. Please don't die, she said. I want to marry you. But the Beast refused. He could now allow Beauty to marry such an ugly creature as himself.

"Think of how sad your father would be."

And the Beast died. Beauty returned home to her family and her father found her a proper husband, a prince. If marrying this prince would make her father happy, then she would do it. If making her father happy would make the Beast happy, then she supposed that she could be happy, too.









[To read the second installment through Maryann Morgenstern's eyes, please go onto the next entry.]






Kronprinz Snarkhaus
Community Member
Kronprinz Snarkhaus
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