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Me and what I love
Mostly poetry probably.. Maybe toss in bits and peices of Me.
Dear Mom:
I probably have more to say to you than anyone...
And I'm not even going to post all of it on here because that'd be awfully disrespectful.
First of all, I don't understand you.. I don't understand how anyone can just throw their child away like you have..
You don't even ask about me.. you don't even act like you care, like you think about me, like you even want to know how I'm doing... Do you know I'm on anti-depressants now? All that "Attention seeking " I was doing? That was real.
Did you know that now that I'm ablt to be myself, I feel like I'm free... I feel like it's okay for people to judge me... Because it's my opinion that matters.. Do you know that I feel more confident than I have in my whole life?

Second, I hope you see what you're doing.. Cutting me off from the kids... They're going to grow up and have something against you for it.... You'll fight and say it was my fault.. but I've called and called and left messages and tried.. It's not my fault. Regardless of what you say.

Third.. Something else I don't understand... Many of your friends in high school were gay/bi/lesbian.. And you've even told me yourself that you were curious at one time (Not that I'm curious.. I know who I am)
But how can you be so upset with me? It's okay for them to be themselves but not me?

Fourth. I've tried.. I've tried to be what you wanted. I've tried to let you use me as a dressup doll. I've acted the way you wanted for people... I've tried to mend our relationship before.. I've tried to reach out to you in so many ways and you just pushed me down before I could even get up. I'm not saying I was always perfect, but I tried. When you realize you've lost your relationship with your first daughter... the only person you can blame is yourself. Because I tried..

And Last, i wish I could be one of those kids that posts about how much they'll always love their mom.. And how amazing their mom is.. And everything else.. It makes me sad whenever I see those posts because we don't have that relationship and never had... And we probably never will.





 
 
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