Okay so the earlier hours of the morning before I have my MRI scan, I read something on Facebook about MRIs and how the contrast can cause kidney problems if you don't have normal kidney function. Now as far as I know, my kidneys function just fine but, it's still really hard not to freak out.
As it is, I have been anxious about this MRI for weeks, and as it draws closer, the more anxious I get. A few MRIs ago, it led to an operation to what was thankfully a benign fibroma.
Even though I ahve been fine before, I am scared each time I have a MRI or a Pet Scan, with my Neurofibromatosis, I have no idea what's going on inside my own body. I have no idea if it's ticking time bomb or not. I know the so-called statistics on any of my fibromas becoming cancerous.
That 1-3 % chance.
But I don't think that it couldn't be me, I don't think it won't happen, I think that it will. I wonder if it happens will I have the strength to fight?
I am afraid. I am afraid because I have no control over my Neurofibromatosis. I will never have control over it.