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thoughts, venting, occational poem.
depending on my sobriety my writing can be entertaining, dark, mentally disturbing and depressing. but it is always the truth. at least through my eyes.
The Darkness.
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face, yet i felt no happiness or joy, accomplishment nor mind altering substance to provide a smile. I felt nothing at all, and as i sat with my ears ringing and eyes blurry the music i sleep to started to seep into my brain. As i lay still listening to the violin and piano play a dark melody i knew the feeling that creep over me. Its the feeling i know most of all, the feeling that has accompanied me throughout my life the most, guiding me into a deeper despair than anything else. I know how to stop it however it feels wrong to stop this feeling, this comfortable solitude from others. The pit that most fear and i grow from. I have never gotten out of the pit without sacrifice and each time something different. Last it took a lung and kidney. Perhaps this time it will finish the job. Whatever happens i know that the path ahead is about to get much darker. Fear of the dark cripples most however for me i thrive. I know my way through the dark, i just need to close my eyes and fall.

I am reaching but i fall,
The stars are black and cold,
As i stare into the void,
Of a world that cannot hold,
Ill escape now from that world,
There is nowhere i can turn,
There is nowhere to go on.

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