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thoughts, venting, occational poem.
depending on my sobriety my writing can be entertaining, dark, mentally disturbing and depressing. but it is always the truth. at least through my eyes.
Love and The End.
Growing up i never had goals in life, i knew goals were for the fool hardy and those who believed they were entitled to a future. I was asked in 8th grade by a teacher what my goal was for the future and without hesitation i answered very dry and monotone "Prison or Dead." and i believed it, i had no reason not to. As i grew older i wished i had been fool hardy but i wasn't. i knew i would die at a young age and wouldn't have a family, nor something to look forward to. My death wouldn't be a tragic one but one brought upon by the cruelty of life. Its come to pass that i will die at a young age and wont live past 27 or so the doctors say. Riddled with disease and my own pride i would rather choose to die than to live crippled. I have loved, been hurt, experienced things people don't in their entire life time. i have learned some of lives most tragic and hardest lessons and made it through, a few times i was dragged through by someone who cared deeply for me others i had to learn to bite the ground and drag my body behind it. I know i haven't learned all life has to offer but in truth one never does. no One person ever learns all there is to life that's what makes it so unique. One thing i have understood tho is this, When i do go, i want to be alone. Life like its brother Death is a solitary experience. Why would i burden others to be around me while i fade away into the darkness, why would i try and hold onto what has grown dear in my heart. instead one should seclude and reflect on his life, understand in great detail what you have learned and fade in peace not chaos. Its an adventure and one should recognize that. Fear is what hides this realization from others and fear is nothing more than the over exaggeration of ones thoughts on the term "What If". In The End being fearful is pointless. we will all experience it and although my day is close, and yours may be years beyond that i will be long ahead on my adventure when you start yours.





 
 
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