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The Chronicles of Esan!
Well, I sent her the awkward PM.
I'm rather proud of myself for it, don't know why though.
She didn't respond, but then, I didn't really expect her too. I just wanted to tell her that, that's all there is it.
I can move on now after saying that. I was able to put all my hate and sorrow aside for a moment to tell her how I truly feel. Nothing more, nothing less.
She knows, and that's all I wanted.
So now single Jake is back on the market.
AWWWWWW YEEEEAAAAAAAH.
I felt weird adding that.
Should I delete it?
Nah.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Just wanted to say it again, but longer. You know, twice the sexiness.
ONE MORE TIME.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Alright, I'm done.
Maybe I should delete that, it looks really weird.
To delete or not to delete, that is the question.
I'm rambling, but whatever, I like to ramble, it'll give this journal entry a less solemn feel, you know, something to counter act what I posted up there.

But I really can move on now, I feel myself thinking about her less and less since I sent the PM. I guess my heart just wanted me to tell her that one more time before I could move on. WELL THANKS, HEART. YOU COULD HAVE MADE IT A LITTLE MORE CLEAR, YOU KNOW. Whatever, I'm thankful to be feeling more normal again. I guess that's all I needed.
I feel my, well I don't want to admit it, but whatever, I'll do it anyway. I feel my hate for her disappearing now. I've been so angry at her for how she treated me, and being angry at someone you love is a very painful feeling, so with that going away, I'm feel so much better. I feel the sorrow going away as well, very slowly, like it's dripping out from the dripping faucet of my mind.
That was a really weird comparison. That's why I write fantasy stories based in medieval times, I can't do real current comparisons, they just come out too cheesy. Speaking of that, I haven't written in awhile. I have so many ideas stored up in my brain...I need to start writing soon. I'll reread Song of Fire and Ice, since that really helps improve my writing. He's just an fantastic writer, when I read his work, I just feel inspired and more confident in my own writing. I wanna be like him someday, a great writer that enjoys what he does. Did you know there's a two to three year gap between all his books? He takes his time. Writing really is a hobby to him, a hobby that he happens to get paid for. I admire that he didn't let it turn into a job or any kind of work. He managed to keep it as a hobby. I'll stop fanboying over him now.
Well. yeah. That's all I wanted to say.
Well, there's more, but I have a project to finish. I'll continue my rambling another day.





 
 
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