Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

thoughts, venting, occational poem.
depending on my sobriety my writing can be entertaining, dark, mentally disturbing and depressing. but it is always the truth. at least through my eyes.
Somebody i once knew.
There was once a young man about 18 years old and very odd. Upon getting to know this person at the time he seemed very happy yet completely shaken. see this young man was once in love and although he had before felt love this was unlike anything he had previously experienced. i asked him once what it felt like and he replied with this response that shocked even myself, for this was very out of character for him. his reply to me was "When a man feels true love it terrifies you. I have gone through life with no goals and not wanting a family, or a long life. but love makes you want all of it, to grow old, have children, a house in the country, two rocking chairs, bottle of jack, shotgun and a patch of perfectly trimmed grass." I looked at him in bewilderment as he rambled on about how terrified he was and how he didn't know what to do. After time went on and the relationship took its course i watched him slowly revert back to his former self but once the relationship had ceased he became different. A new person had entered his soul, changed him, and left. As if a demon had possessed him. he became dark, cynical and broken. I watched him destroy himself slowly, and in the end i am here standing at the foot of his grave looking at the clean gravestone with his name etched into it. i wonder what it was that took him, his depression, the loss of the relationship, or perhaps it was the fact someone showed him that happiness. that grass on the other side, once he tasted it he couldn't stand to go back to the baron fields where he came from. There is many nights i sit up thinking about him and wish he would come back. Perhaps its selfish of me to wish that, perhaps there was a reason for his demise but i know one thing for certain... That man was shown his potential and became something not even he thought was possible. A warm smile, a real greeting, a hug even. that was the man everyone wanted to see and when thinking back on our short time together that's what ill see. He was a good man, a real one. he took pride in his loyalty and the fact he would say exactly what he thought of you. if he didn't like you, he made it known. I remember during his downfall he once told me something that even shook me. He said to me "I knew it was gone when she looked up at me with her eyes full of tears and said your breaking my heart as she started to sob softly. At that moment no matter how crazy it sounds i seen her heart break." After he said that to me i knew that person everyone grew to love was gone. the self hatred in his voice cut deep and affected even me. I hope if your reading this that when you meet a true man, one you know may be a little crazy or odd make sure you keep him as a dear friend. I once knew a man like that.





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get Items
Get Gaia Cash
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games