scromtious
Community Member
avatar
0 comments
I hate how life changes
I hate how much you can care for a single person and want genuinely to spend the rest of your life with them bu,t they can over look you like you don't even matter like it's completely irrelevant how you feel......I want to take care of him I want to be with him I want to love him with my whole heart but I cant because ......he dose not love me , he dose not care and i'm not sure if he ever did......it breaks my heart all the times I pictured my life with him and wished that we would get married how much i prayed I could trust him For it to be thrown away like trash........It just breaks my soul and I dont know how to get over it......its not an obsession it is love and I dont know how to get rid of it the deep down feelings of attachment and affection the confusion the ring I dont know how to feel anymore...........I'll stay numb and still for a long time because i cant proceed and i cant move back so I'm stuck still and lonely no matter who is with me no matter how many friends I have I will never feel the same i will never bee the same i will never trust again because i am stuck.......in love with the past dream of something that i wished for and should have known better he was the first person I trusted the first person i told all of my secrets he was the only person i cared for but now.......I dont know what to do he's moved on and he's happy I was nothing and thus ment nothing so I am left to be just a lonely sad and broken person who avoid's seeing him because it hurts me deep down to my core i feel the panicked tearing searing pain with in me and i have to run or get away I feel terrible but I must distance my self from my love for he dose not love me......He has never loved me and I was silly to think that anyone ever could.................