I had a dream that I found a baby tiger. He was a little bit bigger than my beagle, and I picked him up and just carried him all over the place like a baby. Then some guy saw me with a tiger and was like, "Is that a tiger? You can't keep that as a pet, it belongs in a zoo. You need to get rid of it." I was not about to get rid of my tiger, so I broke into the guy's house and stole all of his cereal. Seriously.

Apparently Vladimir Putin got a tiger cub for his birthday. Want.

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