This Thanksgiving was fairly uneventful.
It was fairly similar to last Thanksgiving. Aunt Shirley and Aunt Joyce came over and ate our seafood with us. Donald came over later and tried to wake me up while I was sleep since I had to work that night.
One thing that I did find interesting was how supportive and excited both Aunt Joyce and Donald were for my new hotel job in Philadelphia. I'm looking at this more as just a temporary stepping stone to pay bills while I search for myself (if you will) but they were geniunely happy...after my friends and mother didn't intially seem as supportive or excited, so that was definitely a positive note.
I'm pretty much thankful for everything I was thankful for last Thanksgiving: friends, family, and love....but I saw a tweet that reminded me of one thing that I DEFINITELY need to be thankful for...
I should've been more thankful and aware but due to events that occurred over this past summer...it really left me to be even more thankful for the second chances that God constantly bestows upon us. The sad part is that I know I'm going to f** up 50 million more times on my journey to become a stronger and overall better human being.
I am also very thankful for this oppurtunity to get away. I'm nervous, scared, excited and all that good stuff for various reasons but I really think this will be a great step to regaining back the parts of me that I lost. As for right now, my only new years resolution is to be in a better place emotionally around this time next year. It kinda really hurts when you mom describes you as "down and dead". Like...wtf.
I'm just hoping life will be a little lighter and a little less worrysome. All I want is for Rob to be healthy and our relationship to stay in tact. For some reason I feel him pulling away from me again... But that's a whole 'nother story. Ideally, we'd be better on the relationship tip when I get up there, but you never really know.
I'm going to keep friendships very light too. It seems that everytime I have felt like I've found my place...it crumbles and I'm left in solidarity yet again although each time gets a little less hurtful than the last. Kenneth has a boyfriend now, not sure why I feel some type of way....but I low key do...something else that will dissipate once this move starts.
It's kinda funny how I left Philadelphia temporarily to get over that whole situation and kinda get over the attachment I was feeling toward Antoine and Benny, especially since I felt like I was put on the backburner for their other friends. I came home and decided to keep it real light, airy, and to focus on me...which i did. In the process Marlon and I became very close...I was the primary go-to guy throughout the whole breakup with Garrett and it became almost impossible not to get attached. I was determined to recreate that environment for us and myself...but it just didn't work out that way.
Antiways...I've found two very strong contenders so far for possible places to live and I think I realllly need to pounce on them. They really work in terms of price and location. One place is $600/month and it's downtown on 12th and Race. I know my budget is $600 total but I could make that work given the price for rent and it being downtown. I could definitely walk to work and I'd be directly connected to the entire city and essentially the entire eastern seaboard.
The other place is in South Philly, on Christian St. I believe, it's $500 and the place looks great. But I'm still keeping my options open, looking daily, and sending out emails. Hopefully I can do some viewings on Monday or Tuesday, but I really don't want to pay too much more than $600-650 per month just to have a roof over my heard. I've been finding some interesting things. Target locations are South Philly (nothing past Tasker), West Philly (nothing past 54th), and North Philly (nothing past Temple).
But yes, here's to faith and hope. I hope things really work out. This Thanksgiving was decent enough and I'm beyond grateful for God bestowing upon me a second chance to get things right.
Mood: Nervous excited
Music: "Take Me Back" - Brandy
· Sun Nov 25, 2012 @ 12:47am · 0 Comments