So... I figured too make this entry since i haven't done one in awhile.
it's 11/19/2012 excuse my Language, if you are under 17 i recommend you to not read this. I'm not going to bother censoring to tired for that.
Still sliping into insanity.
So much work to do.
I guess tonight i have to miss out on sleep.
tomorrow a Comic is due tomorrow for Illustrative cartooning, i was done weeks ago but my teacher didn't inform any of us that the pages had to be seperate pieces of paper... SO After the detail, shading, Texture i wasted on i blew off the comic for 2 weeks and ******** around in her class. So i'm going to finish off last 4 pages tonight. Probably gonna find out that " Oh no i can't except those 4 pages they All have to be seperate in sheets of paper" probabbly going to be escorted by the cops out of class tomorrow if thats the case.. Had to complain about it.
i have short story due in 3 days, book report in a week in which i haven't finished my book, Half way through it. Life of pi if your wondering.
Gotta run a show for cast, well i didn't even start filimg after 2 months.
Still didn't Reshearch some stuff about something. i know if i do, i would be diving deeper into my insanity.
My novel so far isn't looking too good. I wrote part of the Epilouge, no spoilers
I bought Call of Duty Black ops II recently and well it's pretty good, but my nepthew bought Hal 4 so i have been Haloing the past few days. I owe 343 a apology letter for over reacting.
My ex. Ehh lately she hasn't been on my mind, That's good. Wish i wasn't such a jack a** and ended it the way i did. Ignored her for week then txt her randomly then fought, *Then i told her we're done.
Father just came in bothering me. Telling me to go to sleep.
"Is there school tomorrow?" Him
"I don't know.!?"
"How can you not know, if there is you should be sleep it's 1 o clock.
Is there school!"
"I don't Remember."
"Stop with the ******** foolishness"
"Don't you ******** raise your voice at me." -me
He left my room and went to his and yelled as he banged on something
"god i ******** hate this ridiculous family"
I giggled whispered to myself
"Welcome to my ******** world a*****e"
Submitted few applications so far, finished Montclair, WPU and rutgers.
Honestly i hope i don't get accepted to rutgers, honestly they suck.
wrote few poems here and there. Life is still s**t, going to get worst.
this sound more like a entry for a journal. blah blah.
What happened with me and that "Very special someone of mine?"
We're still friends, barely talk. I'm kind of glad but. just doesn't feel right ya know. Now i kind of want to break down when i see her staring ame again. makes me feel like total dum s**t.
So ah.. Here is my secret I am actaully something. Well i would be more specific but since people Love to keep things from me i don't know what i am but i can just say that i'm slow person*? In a way, there is a scientific term for it but i don't know it. I don't think i ever mentioned it on my entries. I was at a time in special Needs program for while. Put into it in 2nd grade since i didn't meet the standards. Honestly, on how i feel is that i'm whole new thing. I'm in conclusion classes in which there is a teacher who helps me. I hate being treated special, hate being refered to it, Picked out. This english year the helper understands how i feel so she doesn't give me any help already had that talk with her first day of school.
Junior year was ******** terrible. English III was ******** terrible. What right does teacher have to ask me?
"Should i have menopause baby?"
.... I shut my mouth till she left.
( it was ok for everyone to talk that day, we finshed exams early so we had 2 hours left she decided to join me and my friends at the back. )
I should ahve reported her. This marks one of my regrets, however despite that this was long ago, it's meaning still can linger in which i can still have here ******** hard.
Anyway on my birthday this year i'm going to sing. I mean sign myself out of the program. ( thought i could atleast get a laugh from that and i did. lol )
All of last year i was Tormented of being Special, conflicted my thoughts of what i am. Actaully Effect my grades to, last year is the worst Grades i ever had in my educational career. especailly for English, i have never had below 90% for that perticular subject. ended the year with a 70%
i should mention that my thoughts are a bit haywired. speaking is alot harder for me. i have been in speach class, but i graduated out of it in 7th grade, However end of 8th grade i had a concusion in which my terrible speach returned.. With loving parents, i didn't go to the hospital. "It's just a bump i would know if there is something wrong"
"How would you know mom?"
"I would know"
"How, you think having your head smashed into a wall with 600 Ib of force is just a ******** bump" raised my voice
"I would know!" She screams
Just memory from 9th grade.
that's pretty much the only things i can reminence about now....
let me go crazy for a momment. 9/33/12/21/6
i actaully wrote things numbers on the glass of the door during my shower. Why? How about No. Told myself to remember these numbers to write them some where.
i do ask myself at times if i would ever change anything in my life. then i would say the same thing over and over again. Not a single thing to change.
let's talk about dating. Will i go back to the game. No.
The reason why, and this is because i feel this way, is that i don't want to bring the person into my life,. I'm going to end up doing what i try to pervent. I would end up hurting her. With my crummy decision making.
like, my recent Ex. it was more her fault then mine. we would fight or have little arguments which bothered me. But doesn't bother her. so i eventualyl became tired of it and kind of ignored her. How ever i was dealing with some, personal problems too. In which she didn't care. it had to be about her. always ended like that. about her. So i called it off.
She's already dating some other unfortunate soul. funny thing is i was her longest relationship an d that was 2 months all her other ones lasted 2 days to a week. Lol. _ Ass_Hole_ i know i am.
She started talking to that Person who i will alway remember. *Crazy guy i was dealing with this summer*
Like what the hell, i got her out of it but. OH well. Not my problem anymore. few weeks later watch something happened. Then we'll see how i feel about it. *insantiy speaking again*
i think i should stop now, typed for a good hour, distracted myself from my comic. Damn. Adios
Ps: My anime story isn't ending yet. epilouge r act 4 or something. Final Act. After saving Universe, fixing blah blah blah... new char blah blah. end..........................
Update* min after posting Thanks gaia for censoring my words
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