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I don't know why it's been so difficult to start roleplaying again. It used to bring me so much joy in the past but now it feels like a chore. Looking at that last entry i just deleted, i wonder exactly how much i've changed in the months since last December. Almost a year later and im completely different. My typing is horrible compared to when i used to Rp. i cant seem to press the right keys and i always keep making mistakes but i think i'll be able to get back to my normal speed with a little practice. The point of this journal is to help my memory. I don't want to reflect on too many past events because as of now i'm looking ahead. I'm learning to motivate myself and be consistent about it. When i think about the future, i get this image that's so beautiful. Pristine wasters, white sand beaches, beautiful women and a peace of mind in which nothing can take away my happiness. In this i'm hoping to restore my memory. These journal entries are about making progress. I dont want to ramble on so i'll cal it quits.

Today i watched Playa's ball. I forget the main characters name, but basically there was an elaborate scheme enacted to get alot of money from him. In the end, he realizes that he was in love with his childhood friend the whole time. Go figure lol. It appeared as a low budget movie but i remember long ago watching it with chris and it was a pretty nice movie. Then i watched the time travelers wife and i must say, i really enjoyed that movie. There is something magnificent about finding love with a person who loves you completely, flaws and all. I hope i find what im looking for.

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