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Life or Death?

so many of you have noticed ive been abscent for quite a while! we have no idea how but ive been extremely sick and even had to go to the hospital cuz i nearly died no joke either! took forever to finally get food in me....
wat upset me tho is wen i came bak to school everyone asked, "how's mariah? is she ok? whats goin on wit her now? is she gonna come back to school?" of course my sister is far more important! i mean i do understand that she had surgery on her arm but those ppl just saw her a day b4 i came back and no one gave a s**t! well thats normal for me. least it better than in highschool, "I hoped you died!" all i kno for sure is that no has ever really cared and probly no one ever will thats also y i wont get my hopes up for another relationship. i mean really, who wud love someone whos almost always sick in one way or another?
anyway on top of all that in carving class i end up stabbing my finger and spew blood all over the floor! it wasnt alil *drip*.............*drip*..........*drip*......
it was more like *drip*..*drip*..*drip*..*drip*..*drip..... and i nearly blacked out!
wat rly bugs me is "everything happens for a reason" so does that mean god is picking on me now!?

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