We haven't talked since I told you I never wanted you to be a part of my life again. I haven't heard your voice in three years.
Why do you still cross my mind? Why do you still invade my thoughts?
My brain tries to trick me to remember the good we had. But I always remember the bad. The memories are all fuzzy because I've tried my best to lock them up. But I remember enough to where the emotions still effect me.
I thought I was done with you.
I read things from three years ago and found myself physically shaking.
I saw you wish me a happy one year anniversary and I wanted to throw up.
Why are you in my head? I'm never going to see you again. I'm never going to talk to you again. But you infected me. You gave me a disease of the mind. You planted your seed inside my head and you planted your roots deep within me. I can't shake you free because when I'm alone at night, I close my eyes and wonder about you.
I want to cry.
I want to scream.
I want to run away.
I want to apologize.
I want to hear you apologize to ME.
I just want to cry.