It has been so long since i lost the light and hope to my life. It feels like i wasn't smiling in the first place. Yes..Indeed...I have move on in some ways but my unhappy smile remains the same. As time goes by, everyday is different except that none of them is my day. My day. It always be in pain and thus it can't be lift up. I really want to cry to let it out everyday but my tears wont come out often. Sometimes i want comfort. Sometimes i want alone time. Sometines i want help. Its like a cycle on my days. Mostly...it is all on me and i take that guilt and blame to my wounded heart.
My life is broken...or shattered since i'm still living. No matter how i want something value to my life, i cant get it. No matter how closer i get, something pulls me back and that goes farther and farther until its gone. Shame on me that i didnt fight. Shame on me that i didnt do it when i know it. Yeah...I am very weak. Very weak to do anything. Not only weakness but sacrifice for the best. That's how my life is basically. I sacrifice my will to make my family happy instead of mine. I sacrifice my happiness for my family's happiness instead of mine. I sacrifice my time for their time instead life. I sacrifice my life for their best. My life is gone....on hold....in prison and i can't do anything about that. I'm just weak person as ever and here i am, walking in the abyss where i put all to find what this unknown path will take me to.
Im still walking...Maybe my time isn't ready for this. Maybe when it closer, hopefully i'll run to get it instead of having something pull me back. Maybe my time could affect my cycle days that one of them could be my day. Yeah...If that could happen... Patient could kill my faith
· Mon Nov 12, 2012 @ 06:18pm · 0 Comments