Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals


View User's Journal

Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
:/ these feels.
Chloe talking about going to a dance on halloween. Liked a page called Rave 2 the Grave.

I think, ok. It may not be a rave. It may be a dance.. but no. I looked into it. 10PM to 4AM. dancers, djs, etc.etc., it's a ******** rave. a real rave, in SA.

I can't go with her because dad is stuck in the hospital and someone has to be here with alexa. if she were 15-18 I could go, but I can't. So it'd be chloe alone at a rave. I have this terrible, terrible feeling of dread deep in the pit of my stomach.

I know it's excruciating fear because of her going to a rave, but also, the feeling that if she goes, something bad will happen.

I'm not going to tell her how I feel. I'm not going to stop her. I'm just going to sit on the shore and watch this ship sink. Relation-ship. Get it? I'm ******** lame. I gave her 3 chances. She ******** me 3 times. If she goes to this rave, if she does drugs again, that's it.

There will be no hope. There will be no way I could possibly save her. It'll mean at her core she just wants to party, and while a lot of people our age are fine with that, I can't sit here and watch the person I love destroy herself.

She won't even have to tell me what she's going to do. I'll just know, instinctively. I always know.

Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games

Customize your own avatar now!

Join Now

Have an account? Login Now!