Woo! This is a sigh of relief.
He can threaten me no longer.
I no longer need to fear him.
Mom is now my guardian.
No more crying til I'm hoarse and curled up on the floor. That hurt my throat.
Now I can do whatever the hell I want. Like others my age!!
I can make friends now.
The law is more powerful then him.
I don't have to sit there and take his s**t.
I wonder what everyone will do if I call him "Bruce" to his face. 1. I'll probably get a few slaps.
Now I can say the truth and not be afraid of him taking away my...living expenses. I would say school, except he forbade that already.
He's not allowed to do anything to me now.
I can not see him if I want.
I can say no to...the Bahamas and the boat now.
He never could control my sex life anyway, but he tried. He told me I had an STD once.
If a spark flies with my sisters, I can now speak my mind. As I did before, but now without that fear.
I have a bank account in my name and I say what to do with it.(in mom's name. I can't do finances. but still I have money!)
If I want to move out, I can!
I have my own power now. The power that should have come to me 6 years ago, and some even before that.
The cloud over my head has lightened incredibly. No more wicked storms hurling me into dark holes with no escape.
I was never a shithead anyway, but no name calling.
I won't be backed into a corner and forced to just survive there.
This emotional rape is over!!!
I have my rights back.
-tears of happiness-
AND because he IS my dad...he does have to pay for me. So this doesn't necessarily mean ALL his financial support is gone. He is REQUIRED to pay my medical bills. because in his mind, money is all there is. and he needs to LOOK like he's doing his job above all else. So he's virtually required to pay my medical expenses and
Well, ....mom said he never paid for me. I don't know if that meant for anything or just the things I wanted. like karate and horse riding lessons.
He did take away my education. But anyway,...let's not bring up confusing things.
Even if the money is all gone, I'm still free. I have mom who loves me and takes care of me in the ways that I need. And she's helping me learn.
She's putting me in that Carbondale program, she found me(job finders) a job, she doesn't scream when I drop a mug.
And she won't scream in the car that dragons don't exist when we see The Hobbit.
· Tue Oct 30, 2012 @ 03:10am · 0 Comments