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MOVED to http://azurillturtle.blogspot.com. old fic index and translation index, respectively.
just so you know
I don't think I'm ever going back. <3

(If you don't know what this is about from just that, then this probably doesn't apply to you. Carry on.)

I'm sorry to everyone who's tried to talk to me and I've ignored, I really am, but I don't think I have the capacity to politely and rationally explain, in one-on-one communication, why I grew to hate the community. I'm still angry, and maybe if I write it out once then I can stop thinking about what I want everyone to know.

I used to love that community, you know. It changed in the past couple years, because of the cliques and the drama, and, well, I got fed up with having to deal with that, and with people asking the same questions over and over when they would know the answer if they just looked. Yeah, the time I snapped at someone and she was offended and ragequit the site because she was trying to help? That counts, too, because the answer would just be me repeating something that had already been said a thousand times. She left because she'd had the "last straw," but I don't think she realized how much worse it was for us, trying to be polite while we acted like parrots.

And now? Well, I want to say you're all assholes, except I know that's not true and I don't want to offend anyone who isn't. But, you know, that's how I can't help but feel, illogical though it is. The mods and the rest of you -- everyone more concerned about "popularity" and "image" and what's easiest.

What was bothering me is the incident more than a year ago, brought up again. No one said anything against her, or pointed out that attacking someone who had chosen to remove herself, and thus couldn't defend herself, was hardly fair. In fact, that nice little smear campaign of acting the victim and leaving out information to make herself look better could even be called "bullying." Instead, everyone expressed sympathy that she was leaving, "we'll miss you," and... why? Because she was conducting herself inappropriately and ragequitting in grand, public fashion, except not actually leaving and continuing to hang around and stoke the fire?

Because she "writes well" and is popular. I have an admission to make. I've never been able to read any of her stories, because I've never liked her characterization or her writing. I've tried. It never worked.

I'll admit that a good deal of my anger is directed at the mods. Some of it is "modly business" and doesn't belong here. For the rest, I believe in [justice] -- that you can't treat someone, anyone, like that and expect to go unpunished. She was arrogant and didn't believe she had done anything to apologize for, and everyone else was willing to let that slide, because... why? She was still popular? It would cause drama? There's not enough evidence? Is that ever a reason not to take action against bullies, or someone who has willfully hurt another?

I said it then, and I'll say it now. I don't care how much rage and hatred is directed at me, as long as it's a direct consequence of my actions, taken with full knowledge because I believe it's the right thing to do. It doesn't matter who the victim was and who the perpetrator was. If they do something cruel, they need to face the consequences.

I was told she's still really popular, and I think that's what got me. You've seen how she conducts herself. You know that she targeted someone who can't fight back. You never questioned the truth of what she was telling you. You never stood up to her. You never thought about the other person's point of view. You still like her and welcome her back, because of her writing. You're willing to ignore whatever she's done wrong, because she does something that gives you pleasure.

And that is why you're assholes, and why I cannot count myself as part of a community where this sort of behavior is all right. ☆

edit: okay lol on further reflection I realize this is a relatively small part of the community and I am mostly mad at the authority that is okay with injustice and the people who still like her for whatever reason. 8| still not going back.





 
 
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