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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
The Good Summer
I talked to my brother today and it was really sweet. He was worried about me. The main reason we called each other up though was so that he could tell me about how Santa Cruz has been. He said that he tried calling me a bunch of times and talked to Anand to see if I had been reached ^^ so other than him saying he was worried, I have proof. It's so sweet. My brother never seemed like the type to worry like that about me. Yes, a check up or protective kind of worry but never a "serious" sort of worry. Lol.

Bah. We talked for almost an hour. It sounds like he is really living now. I'm so proud of him. I knew it would be amazing once he got out of that house. Apprently my Dad is doing really well too, inviting beer buddies over all the time. That is SUPER impressive since my Dad is a reclusive. He doesn't make friends easy and even as a kid, he only had one or two guys over and that was only during football season. My Dad never really had friends. My mom was always the one with friends and parties and nights out. Lol. My mom still has her Tenniz buddies but she misses her volleyball friends, you can tell. They were her best friends. I want to cry thinking about it.

I hate warm days and nights in San Francisco, it means that we don't sleep well at all. My roommate and I both overslept because we were so grumpy. Haha. We woke up a bunch during the night and then woke up on time but went back to sleep cause we were so pissed off. Haha. We are EPIC.

Mmm. Right now I'm just taking my time with my Circus Roleplay and watching out for Silleh, who is making her roleplay right now. I simply adore supporting her. I love even more that it is a MAFIA roleplay and she values my opinion. I mean, SHE REALLY VALUES MY INPUT! I've watched a lot of Mafia movies and done my fair share of research. I feel so freakin blessed to be able to help her. I really feel as if I am of some use = w = even if it is just watching over her and brainstorming while she is gone. I think about it a lot. I try to think of ways to help and things she would need in the future. * m * I'm trying to be a good helper, I am.

I'm thinking about my Circus roleplay a lot now that I saw the latest blow-up on Rin's thread. I'm kinda wondering if I wanna make it public. Only trouble is that I would have to reboot the story =A= and make special coding and what not. Bah. I want it but at the same time I don't. I definitely like the people I have now = w = From the old thread, I only needed to replace The Strongman ( she's gone ) and The Trainer ( she totally went off base from what I want ). I don't want to burden Vixen by asking her ( though ; m ; it would kinda be nice to have her back ) and I feel bad asking Noon again since she is so freakin' epic. I know Mara is epic too but.... ; m ; I am so attached to that character that I want want want. I could see that perfect fit in my little world PERFECTLY. That and I enjoyed how often Mara was there to chat. I know Noon was too but Noon is so busy ; m ; I feel a bit guilty if I were to clutter that up more... I demand Firefly and Rin join. If Rin didn't join I'd have Silleh to ask and that's all well and good but Rin's more experienced with Circus stuff. I mean, really.

Silleh is good with Dancers but the role she wants needs a solid circus base. Psssh.

I haven't been able to draw in a long time.

I know why.

It makes me a bit sad.

I've been vegging out in the television world instead of dealing with things. ^^ I keep away my problems and manage the manic swings. I have been getting some really dangerous ones. It scares me... I'm also trying not to rely on binging to smooth it out. Ugh. It is really hard. Lemme tell you... diff-i-cult!





 
 
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