Community Member
Said Goodbye to my Love.
So, its been awhile. I simply have gotten distracted, and got too lazy to write journal entries for a long time. So I've decided to do one now.

My Summer of 2012 has been nothing special. Haven't gotten my liscense, but I just completed my training. Haven't got a job, but Im planning on making some resume's soon.. And for school...smilies/icon_neutral.gif nothing has been done. Im 2 years behind now. smilies/icon_gonk.gif fml. Dont homeschool if your a lazy b*****d like me.

My good friend passed away this summer, 4 days before my birthday. Everything has been completely set back, and Ive just been a mess ever since. Him and I were farely close, and everyday I was falling more and more for him. I love Keiran more than anything, and I will never forget him. I will never let him go.

I've done nothing this summer. Smoked alot of weed. Drank alot of booze. And the majority of it alone. Who am I to tell my dad he's an alcoholic. Ive got my very own substance abuse problem.

Sometimes things are okay. If I just go into another world, and distract myself from thinking too much, and fade off into some abyss. Everyone thinks I'm okay. They all believe I'm doing fine. But I feel Im barely hanging on by a string. It feels like Ive been punched in the throat and I can't breathe. Nothing is going right. Everything is slumping. And I'm the main cause.

If God does have a plan for us all, to bring this world crumbling down to ashes, then I say "Bring it on". Im tired of this world. The 17 years that Ive lived on this planet and I'm sick of it. I dont understand why life was made so hard to live. Why its so easy to fail. I dont get why what happens when were young determines how Im going to live the rest of my life. I have no idea what the hell I want. Why should I have to choose at this stupid, vulnerable time of my life? I think about the condition were in now. How people are evolving, and new waves of modern technology are sweeping throughout the world. People are getting more and more arrogant. New drugs. More murder, death and mayhem. Minds are getting twisted. Sicker. --When I heard that the world was soon to end years back, my first reaction was to cry. Every living creature is going to die. And no one would survive? But, now that years have passed, I can see that the world is tired. Mankind is washing out the beauty of our planet. And we are now simply failing ourselves. It is now time to breathe, and reboot. Welcome, the End.

Shaylin. Vampielou.