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(After attending a funeral today, I've played Switchfoot's song "Red Eyes" repeatedly to induce deep thought and reflect. It doesn't hurt to get a good song stuck in your head.)
The clouds are out on this Monday, the cool winds are blowing in fall from the north, and I'm still a bit lost in somber thought.
You see, I had a family friend that passed away on the 12th. She died from Multiple System Atrophy. It was literally like she wasted away. But, after everything she did for our church, my mother, and everyone she touched, she left quite a mark.
So, even though her body was fading, her heart shined like a supernova. I didn't know her that well. But I know she lived her life for God.
I'm usually the worst at funerals. I can't cry, nor do I understand it. And I tend to inadvertantly cause mischief in order to cope better. But this time, I did well.
I can't help but think, "I want to be a little like she was." She was a free spirit who lived to serve and was very talented and athletic.
And maybe I can be. I don't know. But I know for sure, she's singing up in the stars beyond heaven's gate. She was, and her memory still is, like that of the light that a star that gave life and hope to many others.
God bless anyone who reads this. It's so hard for me to grasp.
On a diversion, I knew the first time I listened to "Red Eyes" on Switchfoot's album, Hello Hurricane, that was what I would hear when I was leaving this world. The next would be "Sonny Came Home" by Shawn Colvin when I made it to heaven's gates. But only God knows that. And I don't plan on letting that happen for a long while off.
Getting farther off the path where I started leads to my worries about Marikoe. I'm worried he won't be around anymore either physically or litterally going as far as Death's door. And, considering how things have been for me since Friday... I wouldn't be surprised if I did get a permanent goodbye. I love him like my brother, but my actions as of late have possibly said otherwise. God forgive me. And God, while you're at it, strengthen him as well as Drako and myself.
I'm not going to stay down for long. I want to be a shining light too. And to do that, I still have much to learn. Haha, I'll be here if you need me, guys. When autumn comes, that's when the fun starts for me anyways.
Take care, all.
 CrystalKamu · Mon Sep 17, 2012 @ 10:20pm · 0 Comments |
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