It was not long ago that I began to question if my strange, reoccurring childhood dream might possibly be more than what it appeared. As a child, it was an interesting fantasy. One that I quite didn't understand. But as I grew older and began to understand the world, my fantasy somehow morphed into a nightmare.
It is a strange thought. To have a nightmare all of your life and not even realize that you should be frightened. In a way, I find that notion amusing. But then again I have always had somewhat of an odd sense of humor.
I suppose what most appealed to myself as a child in this 'dream', might have been the beautiful green lights that flickered in the windows and hallways of the grand castle. In the stupidity of my youth, I assumed those candles were lit just for me, in my castle. I led myself to believe, even once awake, that I was a magnificent princess of the Midnight Winter Sky. And indeed, in my dreams, this castle always bore a deep black winter sky drowned in stars.
I always loved that dream... The stars, the silence, the flames and the castle...
But time, years as it were, changed my view. Indeed, one night I experienced the dream, and felt myself become a stranger to the land. The silence was too quiet, the sky too black, the air too cold, and the castle too dark. Even the flames were eerie as they flickered in a single window of the ominous castle which sat in front of me. This was not my castle. Not anymore. Had it quite ever been?
The air was freezing and I could not contain my shivers. I stared around me only to see large trees, towering and blocking my view of everything but the sky and the castle.
Set atop one of the towers on this mighty structure rested what appeared to be a winged humanoid silhouette. It crouched, unmoving, and so I wondered if it were perhaps a statue of some sort.
I moved my gaze to the only window lit with green flames. The window sat near the very top of the castle, beside a large balcony. The other windows were dark, and empty.
Taking a step forward, I heard the ground crunch under my feet, and was startled at the sudden distant noise of wings beating against air. The winged figure atop the tower had taken off at my intrusion. Its wingspan was much larger than my own arms outstretched.
A feather descended and was caught in the wind. A gust of frigid air blew the thing my way, and curiosity be damned, I caught it. To my eyes it appeared black, and rather large. A moment later my flesh was cut upon the edge of the feather, and I recoiled only to find that my hand had assimilated the object. Large crimson droplets pooled and congealed at my feet, and peering into the still growing puddle I saw the reflection of a young woman near my own age. She had silken raven colored hair, and tanned skin. I was shaken to find, however, that her eyes were the same as my own.
My hand twinged with a sharp pain and I turned away to examine it only to find that it had already healed. As I turned back I saw the vision had faded from the pool. Well aware that I was dreaming, I attempted to shrug off my discomfort and head for the large doors at the castle's entrance.
For the first time in my life, I knocked upon the doors as I was afraid that I was not welcome. Yet none came to open them, and I assumed there were no inhabitants. With little effort the doors opened under my force, and I entered.
The halls were still lit with the green flamed candles and I traveled down them searching for the room, the only room whose window was alight.
In no time I reached a spiraling staircase and headed up. Had I been awake, I am quite certain the act would have tired me completely.
Once at the top floor, I began opening doors to rooms and checking the windows. Yet it was only once I heard a faint clanging - a bell I presumed - from far away in the distance that I came to a room with a white wooden door.
Somewhere inside I knew that I should not open it, but once again I ignored my intuition and pushed open the door. Inside?
The room blatantly refused to come into focus and I could not, though I tried very eagerly, bid my feet to enter either.
A woman's voice, as if muffled by a veil of fabric and something else I could not place, could be heard. She was quietly crying and it touched me to my deepest cords. I felt a tear slide out of my right eye, portraying an overflowing emotion of nostalgia and longing.
And then my wrists began to burn.
Fire filled my veins and slowly crawled its way up my arms and grabbed hold of my chest. I gasped, my breath becoming weak. It traveled down to my legs and I flopped down to my knees. A vicious hissing noise, much like white static overtook my hearing. A sickening scent of rotting flesh assaulted my nostrils and I gagged.
The heat spread up to my neck and nearly seized my head, but I had enough sense to throw my weight against the door and close it.
Immediately upon shutting the door my wits returned to me. I took a moment to breath and ponder what exactly had just happened.
It seemed so oddly out of character for the castle to torment me. Yet still I was determined to find the room with green window lights, so I stood up and continued forward.
It was not much further from the white door when I encountered another colored door. This one appeared to be a heavy, ornate black door. It was covered in carvings of skulls and other such horrid visions. The knob was silver and glinted maliciously in the candlelight. Embedded in the center of it stood a large, smooth red stone of some sort. Against my better judgement I took hold of the knob, only to find that it was unpleasantly cold. My hand ached once more where the feather had penetrated it, but I ignored it and attempted to turn the knob. But the knob would not budge.
From beneath the door I saw faint green light flickering and at once knew that what I had been searching for lay beyond the door. But no matter how I pushed or pulled, or even kicked, the door remained stubborn and would not open for me.
I stared hard, willing the door to open. And why shouldn't it? It was my dream after all! But it did not, and I was stirred by a hand as cold as the night air, which clasped down on my shoulder firmly.
"GET OUT" It screeched. It was a shrill and most frightening sound.
Get out. Or do you want to die? The thought was my own, but had been brought to me by someone other than myself.
My entirety shook, and I turned and ran back down the hallway, down the stairs, and out the doors back into the cold night. As I felt myself fading, being summoned back into the realm of reality, a gentle and somehow familiar voice called out to me. It too, like the woman's before, sounded muffled as if spoken from behind a veil and something more. His words, and indeed they were a man's, echoed within me as I awoke.
I... am so sorry.
-Aria Rothsbane 07/19/12
· Mon Jul 23, 2012 @ 06:45pm · 0 Comments