Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Sumomo4life's Journal
A 23 year old girl with an attitude... i'm engaged! I'm going to get married August 15th 2009 so don't get any ideas... my pengies are my friend <3 always happy to chat!
why should my feelings no longer exist?
My mom seems to think because i'm 26 years old it means she can buy my brother anything he wants.. and the fact that she has never really bought me much at all.. shouldn't hurt me. She bought him a computer.. when I was his age I never had anything like that and she most certainly didn't give me any gifts when it wasn't a holiday. I had to use graduation money to buy a crappy hp desktop that was 500 dollars. I had waited until my senior year was over in high school.. she only gave me 20 dollars for graduating, she didn't pay for the cap, she didn't pay for the gown, she didn't even throw me a party. She didn't give me a nice gift when I got married.. She didn't even make an attempt at finding a job. She can buy my sister license plates for her car though.. and buy my brother a computer. I on the other hand never seem to matter at all never had.. and never will.

my father who is passed now was the same way with my other sister. She lived with him and I didn't. He bought her a ton of stuff including a computer which he had never bought me. When he passed away he even left all of his money to my sister from his insurance and such which was a large chunk of money. What makes her better than me? What makes them all so much better than me?

I don't understand what makes me so much less than those other people I can't comprehend it.. it just doesn't fit right. I've been the nice one.. I didn't complain when someone couldn't afford to get me something, I didn't scream at people at random times, I didn't yell my hatred.. I didn't go out and party all the time.. I didn't go sleep with random people.. I didn't do any drugs.. just the fact that i'm the oldest child.. that for some reason makes me worth less? Just because i'm older my feelings aren't suppose to get hurt? Your actions show me that these people mean more to you than I do..

my mother hasn't even visited me more than two times in the last 3 years.. I on the other hand have visited her several, she doesn't even know where I live now even though i've given her the address and invited her several times, i've even offered to go pick her up and bring her here. What makes me worth so much less?

My heart feels like it's been broken into a million pieces, no matter who i'm around i'm always treated like less than an equal.. I thought there was suppose to be equality here but it's not true, people aren't treated equal at all. I'll always be treated like less of a person. My husband even treats me like i'm worth less than our roomate.. i'll always be treated like i'm worthless is that anyway to live?





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games