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Take It From Someone Crazy
It's funny how little you can care.

"I should have stopped," Kalli said in the van on the way back to Lacey.
Coach had changed our relay steps on Thursday, the day before the preliminary races at state.
Our handoffs had been flawlessly executed every time, Kalli's and mine. So it was understandable why he felt confident that it would be okay.
Coach lengthened my leg, since my 200m is the fastest of the team, which gave Kalli and I less time and less space to do the handoff.

On Friday, we started the day off with our 4x200m relay. We're fast. We really are. We should've had the school record this year.
Kami and Ali ran quick, and had a great handoff.
Then, Ali and my handoff, which has never been particularly great, was amazing.
Coach said I was flying, fastest leg of the relay I had ever run. It still wasn't fast enough, though.
Kalli took of quick, or early, I dunno. But, the result was, I couldn't catch her.
In the end, we were disqualified. A bad start to what was supposed to be a great day.
We were all clearly upset.

I sat behind the bathrooms, sulking. Thinking to myself, "Today is going to be awful. My races will be awful."
But, I knew I had to get up and get ready eventually, so I stood up, threw on a smile and told myself, "If I can fool everyone else, I can fool myself."

Frankly, I think it helped. It also helped that coach told me it was my fastest relay leg ever. And I just felt all around excited for the races to come.
I don't blame Kalli at all for what happened; I don't blame coach for changing the steps either. I especially do not blame myself for not running fast enough.
It happens. It happens to everyone. Joanna was in the wrong zone two years ago and I was wearing my t-shirt during the race last year.

In retrospect, I realize that maybe I was supposed to learn something from this.
Sometimes, disappointments come. You can't just sit around sulking, ruining everyone else's moods.
Dust yourself off, suck it up, and keep moving on.

For the first time in my life, on that Friday with a terrible start, I ran under 63 in the 400m race. I made it to finals, too.
I know I couldn't have done it if I had let myself sulk around, blaming everyone for how the 4x200m turned out.

This was the greatest state meet of my life, and our team didn't even win. I could tell everyone else was happy with how it turned out too. There was no, "I could have pushed harder here," or, "If only I had given more." Everyone did what they could. And it was enough. It was enough for us to be happy.
We placed second by 1.25 points.
But, for the first time in my life, I can honestly say that I couldn't have given any more effort.
I threw everything I had out on that track. I used every ounce of what I had in me, and it felt great.

Abstract Monster
Community Member
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