Rin Sela
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I've finally got the use of my limbs back. Not exactly back in ship-shape but able to do the things I want to do, have wanted to do for like 8 months. Even if you're going to die it's best if you get to do what you want to until the end. A swift death is what I wish for. But hopefully I won't die, we'll see.

I already feel more powerful against my negativities, my puddles—though a few are still quite troublesome. I hope to be able to kill them, remove them. It's hard. I've been trying on my own for months, and the pattern doesn't really point to success. But that was under different conditions. Yeah. My heart chakra has its work cut out for it... channeling energy to fight negativities, plus (hopefully) regenerate my hand chakra, and heal my throat chakra as well... it's no wonder Bell said you can only work on one chakra at a time. Sigh, that doesn't bode well.

I look forward to being 'irresistible' in Bell's card game, and hopefully get to try using Dancer in FFXI with the friends. Somehow I feel, separate, and un-entitled. Probably cause of the death sentence I feel. It makes me feel worthless, in a way. I question Bell's regard for me, but I'm reluctant to even aproach her on it, or anything. Maybe there's some things I should ball-up about.