I'm feeling much better since the last post. I realize that the previous handful were angry and it's simple to explain these things. I need to write when I'm emotionally charged so I can release some steam. I don't think some of the things I wrote made sense but I got rid of the anger that I felt. Things are a little better now that I've run of a little over 10 pounds. I think it's the release of serotonin that makes me feel like everything's ok. Things are also better because now I know exactly where I stand; I no longer feel like I'm being pulled into two different directions and it's doing wonders for my mood. Nobody has said a single thing about my ex or my lab partner these past few weeks and I feel refreshed. It's like life is finally moving in the right direction.
I think I saw my ex's car running at the place we had the best moment of our first date. I don't know what he was doing there but he certainly made no move to try and contact me thereafter. I'm not going to act on it because I'm not that desperate. If he wants to actually try this time, he's going to have to convince me. I gave him something else to work around too. I told him that I want nothing to do with him, told him exactly what he did wrong to make me feel that way, and told him that I refuse to acknowledge that the relationship existed. I know it's kiddy, but because he's so green, this should make him mull things over in his head. He's probably coming back to work over the summer. I'm not going to be there 3/5 days during the week so it should be ok. It's probably ironic that I'm talking about him after saying that I don't want anybody else to say anything. It makes sense though. I'm really not looking for an opinion when I'm saying these things. I'm just putting this down so I can read it again and think over the situation. I actually reread my posts multiple times especially if I get a lot of views. I wonder why those particular posts are so interesting. Sometimes I'd even convince myself that there it's more interesting to me than the rest even though it's usually not true.
Le Visage Inconnu
· Sun Apr 22, 2012 @ 05:35am · 0 Comments