*sigh* I'm sorry but I just have to rant right now a little bit. I'm supposed to be going to bed, but I know this will keep bothering me if I don't get it out and onto paper.
I don't know what's changed. I feel like I'm back to my own self, wanting to try and make things better. Wanting to be friendly and try to help. Try to include things that you like. But it doesn't work. It probably won't ever. But why am I so adamant to keep going? And why are you so stubborn not to just let go of it?
It's... not going to work. I know YOU don't see that, but I do, and so does everyone else. If two people aren't on the same wavelength... the relationship won't survive. And I know it must just sound like I'm only saying this because I "hate your guts", but breaking up is probably for the best. You still haven't healed and you're not giving yourself time to heal. Not when you keep in contact, not when you keep pinning. You're just hurting yourself in the end, and it frustrates me when stupid people like you do stupid things like this.
Nobody ever takes my advice... nobody ever wants it. But you wanna know something? My advice ends up ALWAYS being right in the end... Apparently people just have to "find this out for themselves", but it hurts me... when you end up being close to me, it ends up frustrating me in the long run. Why can't you be less stubborn and selfish? Why can't you think of other people? I do that, so much so, that I don't grovel at someone's feet despite all the bad that they've done.
I don't deal with people who give me s**t, I don't "forgive and forget" so easily, pretend like all the bad didn't happen... That's stupid thinking right there, because you know what happens? That's how you end up getting hurt again. No, I tell them to either fix their act, or leave, because I'm not dealing with all the bullshit. He didn't want someone who would forgive him for anything right off the bat; if he did, he wouldn't be with me. No, he knew he ******** up, and wanted to fix it. Yes, he would have rather had a "quick fix"... but he knew that wouldn't help. So he worked for it. And now he's almost there.
Anyways, I think I've gotten most everything out of my system now. I've been holding a lot of this stuff in, so it feels good to release everything. And I actually feel more tired now after all of it... which is good. I need to go to sleep now. ^__^
Goodnight Gaia world!~ heart
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chelsea-chee's life
Just about anything I can think about. Hopefully I'll write in this a lot, but we'll see...
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